World Australia New South Wales Sydney

Kangaroos are Not Kosher - Howie & Debbie Down Under

In Search of a Kosher Kangaroo - Part One Oct 15, 2009

Thursday October 15 – Sydney

In Search of a Kosher Kangaroo – Part One

Okay, we’ve now been here a week and I thought I’ve been pretty good about this so far but now it’s time to tell the truth about Australia: They don’t actually speak English here. Just something that resembles it. Also, they think WE have an accent!

Anyway, here are my 3 top Australian words & phrases, so far, that have absolutely no dictionary definition but every person in Oz knows what it means:

1. train smash - tomato sauce (meaning ketchup)

2. soft schmiddy – soft drink (ie. Coke)

3. duff - potatoes

Pat played his 3rd round today at “The Lakes”. “Lakes” being the operative word. He reports that he played a strong front nine, followed by Lakes. Elaine was his caddy today. Her report was the same, although less strenuous as the only thing she had to pick up and carry was the flag on most holes. Pat’s official event at the World Masters Games is now complete as well. We will now turn our joint attention to other matters, like visiting the submarine that sits in Darling Harbour. That’s tomorrow.

Debbie & I spent the day visiting Taronga Zoo. To get there, you take 2 ferries; one from Darling Harbour to Circular Quay (more photos of you know what on the way); and then another from Circular Quay to Taronga Zoo Wharf (even more photos of the building and bridge who must not be named on that trip).

sssssssssssssssssssssssdddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Okay, that’s what you get when you fall asleep typing this stuff at midnight and fall asleep at the wheel (or keyboard, as the case may be).

Back to the Zoo. The arrival at the wharf by boat is accompanied by the normal jungle sounds one expects from a zoo built up the side of a heavily forested hill so that you can’t actually see anything from the wharf; just hear it. Hello Jurassic Park – the T-Rex is out there; you know it; you just can’t see it.

The Zoo has a SkyTram (gondola) to take you from the wharf to the top of the hill. The idea is that you only need to let gravity take you down the hill along the winding path and then at the bottom you’re at the end of the zoo and you just get back on the boat. Works well until you decide you’d like to take the gondola back down; which means you need to defy gravity and head back up the hill; backtracking through the entire zoo and, did I mention, walking back UP the hill all the way?

Here is my favourite zoo story, as relayed by the docent in the ‘Hop In’ Kangaroo & Wallaby exhibit sponsored by Qantas airlines: “I lived on a farm. The dog cornered a ‘roo in the barn. The dog lunged for the ‘roo. The ‘roo used his knife-blade sharp forefinger to disembowel the dog in one swipe.”

Disembowel. That is such a great word! How many times do you get to hear that?

And here’s the really great part. She’s telling us this story as the cute, cuddly ‘roo is standing there about 5 feet from us with nothing between us and a disemboweling except for the docent (who I would have been willing to sacrifice, if it came to that; just for the record).

So we decided to spend time at the crocodile exhibit instead, where there was a nice big piece of plexiglass between us and the 79-foot long crocodile. That’s when I chose to tell Debbie about our upcoming jungle river boat trip to visit the crocodiles in Kakadu National Park next month. There will be screaming. Me, when she throws me overboard.

We enjoyed the Koala Walkabout exhibit once we learned that the ultraviolent Koala (looks can be deceiving) lurking in the tree 10 feet from us can actually only jump 7 feet from tree to tree (or from tree to my face, which was all I really wanted to know). They charge an extra $10 to those wishing to ‘hold’ a Koala. I signed those people up to wills and had them leave everything to me, before I let them enter the “enclosure”.

There was the usual assortment of other animals that could klll you as soon as look at you (gorilla, lion, tiger, bear, peacock). We ended the visit (well, I did anyway – Debbie saw that a theme was developing) by touring the reptile house. Nothing like a good long look at each of the 96 varieties of snake that ONLY live in Australia that can kill you dead.

I cannot wait until we get to the outback.

We walked back to the hotel up George St. from the Circular Quay ferry wharf. It was nice to be back in the safety of rush hour traffic.

We met up with Pat & Elaine for dinner at the pub at the Sanctuary Hotel. Pub food is great. Mostly, I have the fish & chips. And a beer. Pub food is great.