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Kangaroos are Not Kosher - Howie & Debbie Down Under

The Honourable Member from Geelong Oct 21, 2009

Wednesday October 21 2009 – Melbourne

The Honourable Member from Geelong

Richard was our guide during our tour of the Parliament Building for the State of Victoria. To say that he is jaded about politics and politicians would be an understatement. Then again, he’s had 22 yrs. of politicians to study as an usher in the place, and I suspect he’s more than entitled to be jaded.

The Parliament has two houses, the Legislative Assembly (green leather chairs) and the Legislative Council (blood red velvet chairs). I’d rather be an Assemblyman than a Councilor. The leather chairs are more comfy.

You aren’t allowed to eat or drink in either house, but every now & then a parliamentarian complains to Richard that one of the other parliamentarians was seen munching on a biscuit surreptitiously. They want to know what he will do about it. Richard says he’d like to bring back the guillotine for the offense. Or at least pillories and public stoning.

Earlier in the day, we wandered the streets and trams of Melbourne. It is a busy city with lots of massive old Victorian era buildings with ornate stonework. Pretty much all of them are now either train stations or shopping malls or both.

Those buildings co-exist with some very futuristic and very avant-garde pieces of public architecture. The Federation Square complex is the most stunning example of that. Many of the new buildings and complexes are also shopping malls. This is a problem.

The Fitzroy Gardens are a lovely respite from the hustle and bustle of the downtown streets. Also, there are no opal stores there. I liked spending time in the Fitzroy Gardens a lot.

We visited the cathedral named after Pat. Here’s something interesting: I did NOT know he was a saint but that is apparently the case and you should see the massive cathedral they built in his honour! The pictures don’t do it justice. Better you should come here and see it for yourself.

Melbourne has an extensive system of street level trams. It is extremely efficient and easy to use. Much cheaper to build than a system of underground tunnels but it required some pretty good traffic planning to ensure that streets were built to handle both trams and vehicle traffic. Hubie, are you listening?

One tram route is designated the “City Circle” tram and, you guessed it right, it circles the perimeter of the central business district using old style trams and is free. A minor narrative recording points out interesting buildings and sites along the way. So, it’s the ‘tourist’ tram.

Except its also pretty efficient for getting around downtown so everyone uses it; meaning it is jam packed. It was particularly fun having the 3 yr. old throw a 20 minute temper tantrum. Apparently, he wanted to get off. So did we.

We visited the new Harbour Centre and Southern Star “Observation Wheel” in the Docklands – a hip and chic and expensive new project on former unused wharves just outside of the downtown area and next to the Yarra River.

The Southern Star is kind of like the Millennium Eye in London, except that in January this year (1 month after it’s ‘grand opening’) it was found that there were engineering defects so after years of building the thing they are now dismantling it to introduce the ‘fix’. Back to the drawing board. Hubie, they need you too!

Otherwise, the entire city is now gearing up for the Melbourne Cup horse race, which is held the first Tuesday in November every year (November 3rd this year). Actually, the entire country is gearing up for the race.

Apparently, this is the equivalent of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals plus the Super Bowl plus betting plus drinking. Basically, an entire continent will get drunk simultaneously. The entire country comes to a halt for the race at 3pm with everyone expected to be at a party somewhere wearing fancy clothes. This should be good.

I’m in training for the race, of course, by continuing to work my way through “The Beers of Australia”. Tonight, it was a “Cascade Light”. Not to the waiter’s taste (too “light”) but it was on special for about ½ of the price of regular beer. I gave ‘er a go, mate and she’s all right.

Tomorrow, we hit the road. The Great Ocean Road, that is.